


Bow Chicka Wow Wow

by cueonego



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, a random porn star i guess, and they also have sex eventually, descriptions of porn, viewing of porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26755516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cueonego/pseuds/cueonego
Summary: Lassiter stumbles upon a porn Shawn did when he was going through his numerous jobs, and he just can’t get over it.This kinda started out as a crack headcanon i posted on my tumblr and here i am, committed to writing this
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer
Comments: 67
Kudos: 197





	1. Chapter 1

It was embarrassing, yes, but like everything in life, it had to be done. Lassiter came home and sat down in front of his personal laptop as he loosened his tie. It was a long day and he needed a release, and he wasn’t quite in the mood for going on dates, doing the ridiculous song and dance, just so he could get a crappy lay.

He was just fine sitting in front of the computer, having a quickie, and heading off to bed. His hands hovered over the keyboard for a moment, and he typed in an address that he came across when he was going through a perp’s laptop – he snuck the url onto his phone when Juliet wasn’t looking. It was a website for gay porn, so he had to be discreet if he didn’t want his whole career and reputation to go down the toilet.

The page loaded with a barrage of erotic thumbnails, banners and popups. Even though this made him feel skeevy, the images triggered something primal in him, his heart beating slightly faster, his breath slightly shallower. Whether he liked to admit it or not, his body was telling its own story.

He scrolled through the list of thumbnails, eliminating them out against his standards. Too tall, way too many dudes, too much muscles, ew, god no, maybe for another day, too short... when a particular thumbnail caught his eyes. Holy hell, was that—

He peered in closer to the screen so he could examine the thumbnail. The body type, the nose, the smirk... He could recognize that smarmy smirk from 10 feet away, and that had to be Shawn Spencer.

_Shawn Spencer?_

That had to be a lookalike, because he couldn’t believe Spencer would have done porn back in the day. Shawn Spencer, a porn star! Now _that_ was ridiculous. With a cop as his dad, there was no way he would have done something like this.

The title under the image read ‘young twink gets pounded by daddy.’ When he hovered over the thumbnail, it started to show bits and pieces from the video, and the way he walked, the way his face moved… it had to be Spencer.

This was going to be good.

Carlton rubbed his hands together, and clicked on the video with anticipation. This was going to be something he could dangle over Spencer’s head and make fun of for years to come.

A cheesy, royalty free music started playing as the screen faded in, and the camera panned across a swimming pool with a young man, roughly in his early to mid twenties, standing at the edge of the pool. His body was being showcased slowly, from his feet to his thighs, well toned and tan, up to his red speedo, which were the tiniest speedo he’s ever seen ( _really_ , it was more like a banana hammock), and finally glazing over his lean but well defined chest with a little scar along the middle.

There was a black necklace around his neck made of a leather cord with a small pendant in the middle, taught enough to hold its place above his collarbones. His face was clean shaven, hair fluffy and slightly draping over his forehead, and he had black rings on each of his earlobes, but my god, that was definitely Shawn Spencer.

The camera panned over to the poolside chair, where a man slightly older, probably in his mid to late thirties, sat with a newspaper. He held up his newspaper in front of him, but it was made obvious that his eyes were pinned on Spencer.

He would watch over Spencer like a hawk too, knowing what kind of idiotic shit he would get himself into, thought Lassiter. As the porn tried to establish a supposed sexual tension between the two with shoddy camerawork, Lassiter kicked back on his chair, folded his arms and watched the screen with a grin.

Without much context, Spencer cannonballed into the pool, causing a giant splash that soaked the man’s newspaper. The man made a disgusted face, kicked up from his seat and yelled out.

“Hey kid, did you see what you just did?”

Spencer emerged from the pool, shook his head to rid of the water and smiled.

“Sorry! I just wanted to have fun!”

When he thought the dialogue and the premise was cheesy, the acting was god awful. He had seen Spencer act for that telenovela, and he had to say, that was an improvement over this one.

But he could see how young Spencer was in this video, fresh out of college, he assumed. Even if the acting was horrible, the earnestness of a young Shawn Spencer was shining, being so eager to please the director. He was trying his damn best to look coy and cute and slightly stupid, and god, he had to say it was working.

“Oh you’re sorry? Why don’t you get your ass over here.”

“It’s just a newspaper, I’ll get you another one.”

“Just a newspaper, huh, boy? Watch your mouth or I will punish you.”

Lassiter chuckled at the way the scenario escalated. Really, who would say things like that in real life?

“I said I was sorry!”

“I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson!”

The man grabbed Spencer by the hair and started kissing him. As the kissing went on, Lassiter realized he might have to retract that statement about shit acting, because the tiny whimpers and moans Spencer was making was strangely arousing. He pulled himself upright, wiping his sweaty hands up and down his thighs.

The bigger man pushed Spencer down to his knees, and Spencer seemed like this wasn’t his first time doing this. He hooked his fingers onto the trunks and slowly pulled them down, freeing the other man’s cock, and oh god, seeing Spencer’s face next to a cock was so incredibly hot.

Lassiter became painfully aware of his own bulge straining against his slacks. He knew this was wrong, he knew he had to turn it off before things got even more steamy (twink gets pounded?), but god, he couldn’t peel his eyes off the screen.

The roughness happened to be up his alley — not because he liked roughhousing Spencer, (okay, maybe, but his roughhousing wasn’t even sexual) — and this was was just too good to pass up. He _had_ to watch it so he could make fun of Spencer. Besides, he was definitely in the mood and couldn’t be bothered to find a new video at this point.

Just as he pulled his cock free, Spencer in the video plunged his mouth into the man’s cock. His cheeks were hollowed and his lips were glistening cherry pink, and the sloppy wet noises were next to nothing compared to other videos he had seen. His tongue swirled around the tip and a long, deliberate lick from the base up to the head pulled a groan out of Lassiter.

The camera switched to mimic the point of view of the older man, and Spencer’s tiny speedo was long gone and was replaced with his bare ass. The man started thrusting into Spencer’s mouth, holding his head in place, and his eyes were welling up trying to stop the gag reflex. Spencer was jerking himself off as he was getting facefucked, and Lassiter’s hip buckled into his hand.

The man shoved Spencer onto the poolside bench and bent him over it. The camera panned onto his ass, gliding over his hole and displaying his balls and cock dangling down, leaking sticky beads of precome.

The man slapped Spencer’s ass, and it made a satisfying sound as it left a red mark.

“You’re a bad, bad boy, aren’t you?”

Lassiter thought about the many times he had it up to his neck with Spencer, and the scenario didn’t seem as ridiculous as he originally thought. This was so exactly what he needed. He muttered under his shaky breath as he pumped himself harder. “Oh yeah, he’s a bad boy, he definitely needs to be punished.”

The man positioned himself behind Spencer and the moan that came out of Spencer’s mouth was enough to make Lassiter shiver. Spencer was whimpering along the thrusts, and between each of them he whispered profanities he had never heard Spencer say around him.

Spencer moved his hand down from the bench and started stroking himself. The older man caught him, twisted his arm behind his back and slapped his ass again with his free hand.

“You don’t get to touch yourself, boy, unless I tell you to.”

Lassiter was so close, he felt his heart thumping, beads of sweat rolling down his neck, and he couldn’t believe how hot this was.

The camera was held in front of Spencer’s face, showing his face flush and the vein on his temples popping. His brows were furrowed and his mouth was apart from being fucked senseless, and Lassiter felt his balls clench, and he was coming without a warning.

“Oh jeez— Fuck.”

His load shot up and splattered across the screen, which was still featuring Spencer’s face. It looked as if he came on Spencer’s face, and when he realized what he had done, there was no coming back.

The video was still playing, but he couldn’t keep it playing any longer. He hurriedly closed out of his browser, only to see himself reflected inside the black screen, face and neck flush, coated in sweat, and in panic.

_He was so fucked._

“Oh, son of a bitch.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning at work, he couldn’t even look at Spencer in the eyes. He couldn’t quite look at anyone in the eyes for that matter. He was walking around with shame, guilt, and god, the flashes of images.

The scenes from the video were imprinted in his brain, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Spencer’s lips, ass, and the whimpers. My god, the tiny little noises were etched into his mind, and he couldn’t believe he didn’t notice just how much noises Spencer made on a daily basis.

A moan here from eating a chocolate bar, a groan there from bumping into a desk, a whimper from touching a dead body, really, that man was a walking soundbox.

He couldn’t help but flinch when Spencer snuck behind him and whispered into his ears.

“Hey Lassie, whatcha up to?”

“Jesus, Spencer. A little personal bubble here?”

“Sorry, I’m known to have no bubble. Nada. The only bubble I’m known to have is my butt, and I take pride in that one, actually.”

Lassiter clearly remembered the round ass hanging over the bench and the satisfying sound it made when the man left the red mark on his cheek. And with the obscene image of his precome dripping over the bench, he felt his shirt to be a little too tight and his pants not enough to cover the flexing of his semi-hard cock. This was neither the time nor place to get a boner, but his body was betraying him.

His breath hitched when he noticed just how close Spencer was behind his neck.

“Uh, yeah, no thanks.”

Spencer gave him a strange look, and pulled out a lollipop from his mouth, which made a loud pop as it came out. He licked his lips, coating them with sugary slick.

“I wasn’t inviting you to it.”

His lips were deliciously pink, and the sugar-gloss made it look even more enticing. Lassiter was staring. Staring at Spencer’s lips, wondering how it would taste like, wondering how it would feel against his lips. His voice strained as he tried to find the right words.

“I wouldn’t even dream of it, Spencer.”

Lassiter shuffled backwards as he pointed at Spencer, and Spencer thought he saw his face blush. That was new, he thought. Their banter was not long enough for it to have been something he said, and Lassiter didn’t seem to be angry either. Well, he said something out of line, but he always said things like this to Lassiter, and these days anything under the mention of genitals didn’t elicit a response from Lassiter.

Lassiter turned around as Spencer called his name out.

“You’re kind of looking like a cherub doll, with the red on your face.”

“Shut your hole, Spencer!”

Lassiter tried to sound as normal as possible, but Spencer could sense something was definitely going on, and he was determined to find out.

—————

Lassiter and O’Hara were out chasing a lead for one of their cases, which meant that Spencer had a nice window of opportunity to snoop around Lassiter’s apartment. Good thing he swiped the spare keys from Lassiter’s desk before he got out of the station.

He rode his motorcycle to Lassiter’s place and let himself in, being careful as not to be seen by anyone.

The place was fairly empty except for a desk and some chairs, a couch, and a TV. It was devoid of any personal touch except for the wall of perps and the crime scene photos. Yep, that was his boy.

He walked over to Lassiter’s desk, shuffled through his stack of papers only to find nothing of interest. The drawers were practically empty except for the gun magazines and office supplies. Next to the desk, he noticed a wad of tissues in the trash, and ew, that didn’t look like it came from someone’s eyes or nose. It had to be tiny little Lassiters from the night before.

There was no shame in jerking off in their own home, obviously. Spencer knew Lassiter was a busy man, and he probably didn’t get much chance to go out on dates or find a one night stand who he didn’t want to arrest at first sight.

Speaking of his load, maybe he ought to check out his internet history. Last time he checked it out, he saw something he wish he’d never saw. But the crusty white streak on the screen he saw as he opened the laptop suggested that whatever caused him to be weird all day _had_ to have happened here. Maybe he watched some porn that was extra kinky or unconventional, but who’s to judge someone by their kink?

But it really must have been some orgasm, seeing how it reached all the way to the screen. Good for Lassiter, he needed to relax a bit sometimes, and it was good to know that he was at least taking care of his business instead of keeping it bottled down.

The last address he was on was a porn site as he guessed, but what he didn’t expect was the site to be a gay porn site. Huh, he figured plenty of straight men watch gay porn (nah, who was he kidding), or maybe he stumbled upon it by accident. Maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s been gay all this time. It would make sense, but either way, good for him.

Spencer chuckled when he read the title of the link. _Young twink gets pounded by daddy_? He figured Lassiter could play a DILF, with his salt and pepper hair and those gorgeous eyes, and how could he forget the plentiful bush on his chest. Yeah, he’d tap that.

When he finally clicked the link from the history list, he noticed the thumbnail, and oh. _Oh_ , that’s me.

Wow, Spencer hadn’t seen that video in such a long time that he managed to forget about it. He was freshly out of job, and was casted for his strong features when he was walking down the boardwalk with a couple of his friends. He figured he liked having sex, the co-star seemed like a reasonably hot person, _and_ he was getting paid for it, so there was no reason not to take the job. He did make a lot of money from it enough to keep a constant supply of Red Vines and tacos for a month. Those were some good times.

He enjoyed the experience, but having to keep a boner for hours on end was exhausting, and the sex felt too artificial for him to have continued with the job. If he had continued, he probably would have made it through, because damn, he looked good in that video.

How he ended up on a porn aggregate site, he didn’t try to think too hard about it. Someone must have pirated the DVD and uploaded it here for free. He clicked on the play button, and once the music started playing, he remembered all the stupid lines he had to memorize for the takes.

He remembered, by the end of the take, he was saying whatever came to his mind while he was getting pounded, because hello, he didn’t have the mental capacity to remember his lines. Those takes made it to the final cut, because the director said he liked the authenticity he was trying to bring to the table.

Wow, good times.

Now, if Lassiter saw this video last night, and if these crusty marks were a sign that he came from watching him get pounded, it totally made sense why Lassiter couldn’t even look at him directly.

_Sweet._

This was gonna be so much fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the game is afoot

Spencer made sure to close the browser and the laptop just as he found it, and locked up the apartment as he left.

He was now faced with a unique situation.

His coworker watched a porn of him and enjoyed it enough to have come. On one hand, that was very hot, because he now knew that Lassiter had the hots for him, but on the other hand, Lassiter was his coworker.

_Pssht_. Like that ever stopped him before. He loved hitting on people he worked with, and Lassiter loved dating his partners and apparently watching pornos of his coworkers. This was a match made in heaven.

He could confront Lassiter about this directly, but Lassiter had too much pride to admit anything. He knew he had to work this up, slowly and methodically, and then _Bam_ , he was going to hit him when he least expected it.

His phone buzzed and a text came through from Juliet. A body was found in – _my god it was perfect_ – a swimming pool at an upscale hotel.

This had to be a sign, and he wasn’t going to miss it. Since he already had the entire script in his head, it was show time.

—————

Lassiter saw Spencer and Guster pull up into the parking lot in their ridiculous blue Echo. The two idiots jumped out of the car, and Spencer was charging his way through the wave of officers around the scene and through the police tape, as Guster was trailing along, profusely apologizing to the officers for his friend.

“Hey Jules, what do we got here?”

“It’s a male, and it seems like he drowned in the pool–”

Before Juliet could finish her sentence, Spencer turned to Lassiter and chimed in.

“Hey Lassie, sorry I couldn’t bring my red speedo. It’s at the dry cleaners at the moment.”

While Gus and Juliet gave Spencer a strange look, Lassiter responded by spitting his coffee out into the pool. Juliet flinched away from the spatter and shouted at Lassiter.

“Carlton! You just contaminated the crime scene!”

Spencer, trying his best to hold his grin back, crossed his arms and leaned back to look at Lassiter, who was busy hacking his lungs out and swiping away the hot coffee from his clothes.

“Wow, really, through your nose! Man, keep it together, Lassie.”

Lassiter shot an angry look towards Spencer, his face and eyes red from all the coughing. Oh, he definitely got him with that line.

“Boys! Please,” said Juliet, placing herself between Lassiter and Spencer. “Thankfully, the body is already with the coroner, and we sifted through the water before you got here. _You_ should go change, Carlton. And _Shawn_ , I think I got it from here.”

“Fine,” Lassiter wheezed as he shoved Spencer out of his way. “Thanks for ruining my shirt, genius.”

Spencer hollered towards Lassiter, who was angrily making his way down to his Crown Vic. “Well, it _was_ just a shirt, Lass. I’ll get you another one.”

Lassiter’s head shot backwards, his face frowning in confusion. The speedo had to be a coincidence, because they were at a pool. Maybe the red speedo from the porn was Spencer’s own, and it was his one and only swimsuit he had.

But that, could that be the newspaper line from the porn? But there was no way Spencer could have known that he watched that particular porn the night before. People say they’ll get someone another shirt after they spill something on their shirt, right?

He grabbed his spare clothes from the trunk and went into the hotel bathroom. Perhaps he was reading too much into things because he was feeling guilty. It was too early to draw any conclusions, and he couldn’t take any chances reacting to Spencer’s antics. He was going to be calm and collected, cool and stoic.

Spencer spotted Lassiter making his way into the hotel, and turned to Juliet. “Uh, Jules, that guy didn’t accidentally drown, by the way. You should check that girl over there, wearing a silver necklace. You will see that it turned black, like her black, black heart.”

“…because of the chlorine in the pool!” said Gus. “She must have gotten it on her when she held the guy’s head in the water!”

“That’s good Shawn,” said Juliet, motioning at the officers at the scene. “Officers, can you escort that lady over there? She’s now our prime suspect.”

As the officers got busy, Spencer slipped out and followed Lassiter into the bathroom. He saw a pair of feet in the corner stall, and he could hear the clothes rustling. He walked up to the stall and knocked on the door.

Lassiter still couldn’t figure out how Spencer managed to hit the target square in the middle. That man wasn’t a psychic, but this had to be close to him demonstrating his psychic abilities. He flinched when he heard the knock on the stall, but cleared his throat before answering the knock.

“Occupied!”

“Yeah, I can see your feet, Lass.”

“Spencer?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“What the hell do you want?”

“I just wanted to say sorry for ruining your shirt again.”

“Oh, you’re sorry?”

Christ, Lassiter bit his lips when he realized what he said. Spencer must have been fishing for his response, and he managed to get the exact line out from the porn. Oh, Spencer definitely knew what he was doing.

“Alright, you know what? Go away. I’ll shoot you if I see your feet any longer.”

“Okay, understandable. I’m leaving.”

That was enough for Act One, thought Spencer. He didn’t want to push it any further, or else he was just going to make Lassiter angry without getting anything out of it in return. He walked out of the bathroom and found Gus, who was turning his head around the place looking for Spencer.

Gus walked towards Spencer and took him aside. “Where the hell were you?”

“You know. Just checking up on Lassie.”

“Oh, _just checking up on Lassiter_. What the hell was that about?” Gus frowned.

Spencer patted his friend on the shoulders. “Gus, everything will be clear soon, all in good time.”

Gus dusted off Spencer’s hands away from his shoulders and walked out of the entrance. While they walked towards the car in silence, Spencer could feel that Gus was working his magichead hard.

Gus held the latch on the driver side door and paused. “It better not be something that will get your ass busted up by Lassiter.”

Shawn chuckled at Gus as he went into the car. Oh, believe me, Gus. It was something that’s _definitely_ gonna lead to that.


	4. Chapter 4

Lassiter returned to his apartment straight from the hotel, seeing as his partner got a handle on things while he was getting changed. As far as he was concerned, the case was open and shut. The lady was jealous, and like that, she murdered her coworker in cold blood.

He shoved his shirt into the washer along with other laundry items and turned it on. It wasn’t his laundry day and this was going to mess up his schedule. _Damn it, Spencer_.

He thought about getting his crap list sorted out. The one he kept was stained with rings of coffee and takeout spills, and he needed to start a fresh one, preferably with Spencer’s name at the top written with a thick sharpie. With maybe three underlines under his name for emphasis, so he could never forget about that bastard (not that he would ever let him forget).

But he was technically still on the job, so he decided to log onto the portal to check up on some of the backlogged reports. He sat at his desk and opened his laptop only to see a white crusty streak across the screen. Jesus, guess he didn’t clean it as well as he thought he did.

The chair dragged on the hard floor as Lassiter pushed to get up. It was disgusting and horrific that he didn’t get all the spots on the screen the night before. He guessed the guilt and panic probably played a big role in this mess, but he was professionally trained to know how to act in high stress situations. Where was his head at the night before?

He grabbed a tissue from the bathroom and wet it so he could wipe the mess out. When he returned to his desk, he noticed a tiny bit of plastic next to the chair. It was a corner piece of a candy bar wrapper, and he’s never been one to indulge in candies, so it had no business being this deep inside his apartment.

He picked up the wrapper and brought it up close to examine, and holy hell, it was from the brand of chocolate Spencer was constantly eating around him.

_Spencer was in his apartment._

That must have been how he figured out. Those references weren’t a coincidence; Spencer started a game with him, before he could to hatch a plan of his own.

Oh Spencer, you sick son of a bitch, he was going to nail him when he least expected it, and _Bam_ , he was going to take him down.

Lassiter was late to the game, but he wasn’t going to let that slow him down. He knew details about Spencer that nobody else knew, and he was ready for a showdown.

—————

Lassiter drove himself back to the station, where he found the idiot squad standing next to his partner, who was trying to concentrate on her report, but unsuccessfully so.

Spencer noticed Lassiter and raised his hand up. Gus followed suit, and Juliet got up from her desk and walked towards him.

“Oh thank god, Carlton. I’ve been trying to get them to leave, but they won’t go until they get their check, but the check won’t be signed until you sign off on my report, _and_ I won’t be finishing the report until they leave.”

Juliet looked exhausted.

“What are they getting paid for? They were at the scene for 5 minutes.”

Spencer came up to Lassiter, again with the complete lack of personal space. “Lassie, lemme tell you, it was my psychic divination that led her to the perp all the while you were busy wiping yourself up.”

But this time Lassiter was armed and ready. He stepped closer to Spencer so they were nose to nose, and he lowered his voice to a range he knew it did things to people. He got hardened criminals to confess with this, so why not on Spencer?

“Oh yeah? Watch your mouth or I will punish you,” Lassiter said with a chilling smile.

There was a hint of surprise in Spencer’s breath. But instead of backing down, he raised his eyebrows and stepped even closer, maintaining his eye contact.

“I _said_ , I was sorry.”

The two stared at each other, both of their breath heavy and their faces barely apart. Lassiter could feel the heat from Spencer’s body radiating past the two layers of fabric between them. Spencer’s mouth was slightly parted, with a light smirk on the corners of his mouth. He _totally_ was having fun with this. But Lassiter wasn’t going to lose, oh no sir.

Spencer wasn’t going to lose, either. It seemed like Lassiter somehow managed to figure out what was going on, which caught him off guard, but that didn’t mean that he lost his advantage. Now that he was a willing participant in his game, it was about to get a whole lot more exciting. He saw Lassiter’s furrowed brows, but behind his eyes he could sense that Lassiter was also having a lot of fun with this.

Gus stood beside them, with a concern in his voice.

“Uh, guys?”

Juliet also peeped in from the side, with her arms crossed.

“Yeah, guys?”

Lassiter turned to look at the two, only to notice that the rest of the station was staring back at them. But he wasn’t going to back down, not when he finally caught Spencer off guard. He continued to breathe down on Spencer, straightening his posture.

It was Spencer who stepped back first. This was just Act Two, and he wasn’t going to exhaust too much of his energy. He stumbled backwards, gave Lassiter pat on his chest and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Well, Gus, guess this is our cue to leave,” Spencer said without averting his eyes from Lassiter’s.

Lassiter didn’t move his eyes from Spencer either. Spencer’s head turned back as he was leaving, until he couldn’t turn his head any more. Lassiter kept staring back at Spencer with his arms crossed, until he was gone out of his sight.

Lassiter grinned, looking at the hallway rid of Spencer and Guster.

“Wow, Carlton. That coffee thing really got to you, huh?” Juliet said from behind.

“No, I’m just showing him who’s boss,” said Lassiter, turning back to return to his desk.

“Interesting. I was gonna say, I thought you guys were about to kiss.”

“What? No, why would you– How dare you! I mean, frankly, that’s absurd. I would rather drown myself in a pool than kiss Spencer.”

Juliet looked at Lassiter incredulously.

“Again, a simple no would have sufficed. I was making a joke.”

Lassiter scoffed off his nervousness, because _clearly_ , he knew very well that she was joking. He would maybe watch a porn of Spencer, but never, never, kiss Spencer. At least not in the middle of the station when everyone was watching. If he were to kiss Spencer, it would have to be somewhere private, because nobody would believe Spencer even if he told a soul about it.

“Ha. Very funny,” Lassiter replied.

If he _were_ to kiss Spencer.

—————

“Please tell me you’re doing this for a reason, Shawn,” Gus said as they walked down the steps of the station. To be honest, Gus didn’t like it when Spencer messed around with Lassiter. That man was one sick dude, and he could never guess which direction that man was going to bounce off.

Spencer shrugged without offering much explanation. When something was set in motion by Spencer, Gus knew there was no way he could convince him otherwise. He has tried it multiple times before, and the success rate was, well, abysmal.

But he came to trust his friend’s ridiculous mischief, because regardless of what kind of wreck it caused, it did yield tangible results. He briefly wondered if this was a symptom of Stockholm Syndrome, seeing as he continued to stick around Spencer since childhood for unknown reasons, but dismissed his thought. He was his best friend.

“Well, you better quit riding his ass before you get your ass beat.”

Spencer cocked his head and turned to Gus. “I think you meant to say quit _riding his dick_.”

Gus stopped in the middle of the steps and squinted at Spencer.

“No, Shawn. I don’t think I meant to say that _at all_.”

“I’ve heard it both ways.”

“You did not.” Gus left no room for debate.

Spencer shrugged it off again, and continued walking down the steps. He often told the truth but people tended to ignore them for some reason. No matter, things took an unexpected turn, but he still had something else left in his arsenal.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Spencer let himself into his dad’s place with a plan in mind. He was going to be in and out before his dad even knew he was here. Once he slipped into the storage, he started to rummage through his belongings. It had to be somewhere, _somewhere_ around his college stuff. While the speedo was not actually his, the earrings he wore in the porn were indeed his.

He knew that Lassiter was not going to “punish” him in any way. But he wasn’t going to lie, when Lassiter stood close and breathed down on him, with his stern eyes and flared nostrils, he was absolutely thrilled. If they were any closer their lips would have touched!

Afterwards he couldn’t help but imagine Lassiter holding him down, telling him what he was going to do to him, slowly fucking his brains out, man, it was so very hot. The best part was it wasn’t that hard to imagine, as Lassiter had manhandled him in the past under the pretense of upholding the dignity of police work.

_Or something like that_. He wasn’t paying much attention to what his justifications were, because when Lassiter would pick him up, haul him, choke him, slap him, punch him, push him against the wall, (wow he just realized the list could go on forever), it was extremely hard to focus on anything other than, well, him.

It might have started out as a joke but he was now very much into this idea of seducing Lassiter, prodding him until he got the message. He had to show Lassiter that he was _game_. He had to win Lassiter over.

_Cool_. First things first, the earrings.

“What are you looking for, Shawn?”

Spencer flinched at the intrusion.

“Hellooo, dad,” Spencer enunciated. That man was light-footed as hell and it scared the crap out of him sometimes. “I’m, _uh_ , I’m trying to find my college stuff.”

“Why would they be in my deep freezer?”

“I got hungry,” Spencer said, letting go of the lid to the freezer. “But I quickly realized that it’s just full of dead fish and nothing edible.”

“Fishes _are_ edible.”

Spencer paused and stared at his dad. In his dictionary dead fish was not food.

“Yeah, no.”

“So, your college stuff, huh?”

Henry crossed his arms and stared back at Spencer, who continued to stare back at him with a wince. Spencer cursed himself for slipping that piece of information past him during the ambush. It was a Henry Spencer special he fell for way too often, and now he was beginning to regret coming here altogether.

An uncomfortable silence sat between them.

“ _Fine_ ,” Spencer broke. “I’m looking for my earrings.”

“Earrings? The ones you had in college that made you look like a– what’s the word, _homosexual_?”

Spencer was stumped at his choice of word. Right. Homosexual. He stood amongst the pile of boxes as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Wow, dad. It’s the 21st century. I will look as gay as I want to. Besides, I’m _very_ secure in my masculinity, thank you very much. I just need to turn it down a notch with my _homosexual_ earrings.”

Henry stammered and threw his hands up as he left the room, sensing that it was a lost cause not worth fighting for.

“I don’t think you’ll find them here, Shawn.”

“Is it because you threw them out?” Spencer yelled out after his dad.

Guess he wasn’t going to find them here. But really? Homosexual? He was totally not gay; he just had a giant, long lasting crush on Curt Smith from Tears for Fears, Rocky Balboa, Judd Nelson, and his current favorite, Santa Barbara’s finest Head Detective Carlton Lassiter. So what if he got fucked in the ass once or twice before, and what if he wanted to suck Lassiter’s dick? _Who didn’t?_

He stomped his foot as he won the imaginary argument with his dad, then pulled his phone out as he left the storage. He had to call Gus for his help.

—————

“Why are we at Claire’s, Shawn? I thought we were getting pretzels.” said Gus, looking around uncomfortably at the preteen girls around him.

Shawn was busy crouching down and rummaging through the hoop earrings section.

“Auntie Anne will be waiting next door, Gus. I just need to get a pair of earrings first.”

“And why do we need to get a pair of earrings?”

“Apparently, it makes me look homosexual according to my dad.” Spencer deadpanned.

“Man, this isn’t college anymore,” said Gus, sifting through the bedazzled earrings and cheap plastic rings with disinterest. “The appeal is long gone, and the fashion has moved on, Shawn.”

“Please, it’s never been out of style. It’s _totally_ Alamo.”

“You mean à la mode?”

“Eh, heard it both ways.”

Gus gave him the look, the one Spencer knew what it exactly meant. Spencer shrugged off and continued going through the collection. Gus was growing impatient. He had no plans of getting side-eyed by girls who reminded him of grade school when he agreed to pick Spencer up, and Spencer wasn’t even fazed by this barrage of stares.

“You know what? _Goodbye_ , I’m going to get my pretzel dogs now.”

Spencer stumbled into the display as he shot up. “Wait! You can’t leave, gimmie your card before you go.”

Gus swatted away Spencer’s hands on his shirt, then turned to notice the shop associate walking towards him. They were obviously out of place, and she was keeping an eye on them ever since they walked in. _Nice going, Shawn._

“Can I help you two gentlemen?”

“Uh, no thank you,” said Gus in his polite tone, shooting a look at Spencer. “We were just leaving.”

“No we’re weren’t,” said Spencer, turning to look at the associate with a cheesy smile. “I’m looking for tiny hoop earrings, something George Michael or Johnny Depp would wear, but preferably in black.”

—————

Lassiter sat at his desk at work, flipping through the paperwork that he had to review before handing it to Chief Vick.

As he was going through the repetitive motions, he couldn’t help but wonder. He managed to resist the urge to open the video up again the night before, but there were _fifteen_ more minutes of it that he didn’t get to see.

He was curious what else was there that he could use to gain the upper hand. He wondered about other ways Spencer was getting fucked, other ways Spencer was being put in his place. Whether the man finally let Spencer touch himself, how Spencer would touch himself if he was allowed to. Just thinking about it was enough to get his cock twitch against his pants.

Lassiter shook his head and returned his attention back to the paperwork. What was he thinking! This was all for a joke, and he _happened_ to have gotten carried away the first time. It had been a while since he masturbated, and any old porn would have done the trick. This whole endeavor was not about wanting to fuck Spencer himself. He reminded himself that he would rather drown than kiss Spencer.

He continued to skim through the reports and signing them off, but the question kept on nagging at the back of his head. _Fuck it_ , he had to know. He closed the last report he signed and flung it onto the pile on his desk.

He checked for anyone around him and pulled out his personal laptop from his briefcase. With the laptop tucked under his arms, he headed down to the evidence storage. Nobody ever went down there, and there weren’t any major cases active, so he should have enough privacy for at least twenty minutes.

Lassiter locked the door behind him and pushed a shelf in front of the door to block anyone from coming in. He briefly paused to wonder what the hell he was doing, but he knew he came too far to go back empty handed. He _had_ to watch it. After situating himself in the far corner of the room, Lassiter and opened up his laptop with a deep breath.

When he clicked on the link from his history, the website kindly remembered where he left off. _Pretty smart for a porn site._ He lowered the volume of his computer, looked once again at the door and pressed on the play button with a shaky hand.

He saw Spencer’s face, flush and sweaty just as he left it. Soon after, the scene cut into a different angle, and the man was now flipping Spencer over onto his back. When he rolled over on the bench, his hard cock was bobbing, leaving a line of precome on his taught stomach.

As the man pushed himself in again, Spencer’s head fell backwards with a groan, making his adam’s apple jut out. He grabbed onto the sides of the bench, knuckles turning white as he steadied himself. The man was – _wow_ , they weren’t kidding – pounding into Spencer with force, his balls slapping onto Spencer’s ass.

Lassiter didn’t expect the man to bend in closer and grab onto the leather necklace around Spencer’s throat. He twisted his grab, making the strap tighter around Spencer’s neck, and pulled on it as he pressed his knuckles into Spencer’s throat. Spencer let out a stifled moan, his head tilted up with his eyes fluttering close. His mouth was apart, searching for air, his face turning even redder.

“You like that, boy?”

Spencer lifted his head to look at the man and nodded his head. “Yeah, fuck– yes.”

The man loosened his grip on the necklace, and Spencer gasped for air, his chest heaving and the colors returning to his hands as he loosened his grip on the bench.

“Touch yourself and come for me, you brat.”

Spencer quickly nodded his head again and took his cock into his hands. He twisted his wrist as he moved his hand up and down, and soon he was shooting streaks of come onto his stomach. Spencer groaned and shuddered as he came, his head falling back down.

The man pulled himself out of Spencer and peeled the condom, gave himself a few quick strokes before coming onto Spencer’s face. The camera rolled around Spencer’s face from multiple angles, showcasing the white streaks of come dribbling down his cheeks and nose, reminding Lassiter of the night he first saw the video.

_Jesus_.

Lassiter closed his laptop and stared out through the cabinets. What he was supposed to do with this information he sought out, he didn’t quite know. But all he knew was that he had a raging boner while sitting on the floor of the evidence locker, and someone was rattling on the doorknob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the nice comments! it's so awesome that you all like this so much ;-; shassie 5ever


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's at the door?

Lassiter stood up, placing his laptop in front of his crotch. He walked towards the door, pushed the cabinet back to its place and unlocked the latch. The door creaked open and Spencer pushed in, with a stupid grin across his face.

“Hey, wanna come out of the closet, Lassie?”

_Spencer._

“I guess it’s not _quite_ a closet,” said Spencer, looking around the room and closing the door behind him. “But you know what I mean.”

“What are you— are those earrings?” said Lassiter, pointing at Spencer’s ears. Despite the years, Spencer looked remarkably like the kid in the video he just finished watching, especially with the rings on his earlobes. He was just bigger, stronger, and dare he say, _sexier_ , with the confidence and ease in the way he carried himself.

“No, they’re piercings,” said Spencer, crooking his eyebrows. “And unlike earrings, these are for bad boys only.”

Lassiter could feel his face flush. While he liked the idea of Spencer being a brat who needed to be punished, being faced with Shawn Spencer in the flesh was different. And this time, he wasn’t necessarily _playing_ the role of a bratty kid. He was being an actual brat, a pain in the ass, a phony idiot fishing for Lassiter’s response, poking at places he knew would get a response out of him.

And the worst part was that it was working. Here he was, looking at Shawn Spencer being a smug bastard, and he was letting it happen. How he always knew when to barge in, what to say, what to do to rile him up was a damn mystery. And it was pissing him off that it was so easy for Spencer.

Lassiter slammed his laptop onto the cabinet and shoved Spencer against the door. “You know what, Spencer? That’s enough.” The cabinets and shelves around him shook upon impact. “That’s fucking enough.”

Lassiter’s lunged in and his face was up close to Spencer’s. “I know what you’ve been doing. You’ve been trying to get under my skin this whole time. You somehow figured out–”

Lassiter couldn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he shut his eyes and let out a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

“You somehow figured it out, but you know what? I know that you know. So I was playing _you_ all along.”

Spencer chuckled. “Okay, Lassie. I admit. I know you watched the porn, and you obviously enjoyed it enough to make a giant mess over your laptop.”

Calming down was definitely not working. He took another deep breath and straightened himself up.

“Okay, so what? Yeah, I watched it. Whatever’s on the internet is all fair game.”

Spencer flashed a soft smile. Lassiter was still trying to win, but what he didn’t know was that Spencer wanted this to happen. So either way, it was a win for him.

“Yeah, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have. I’m asking if you wanna, _you know_.”

Lassiter took a step back, surprised by Spencer’s proposition, only to have Spencer pull him back by his tie. He lightly tugged on Lassiter’s tie to pull himself towards his ear.

“I’m just saying maybe you need to teach me a lesson.”

“This is not a game, Spencer.” Lassiter hissed. Spencer’s warm breath was tickling his neck, and despite what he tried to tell himself, he was savoring each moment of it.

“Come on, Lassie. Unless that’s a gun in your pants, I know you want me, and I want you too.”

Lassiter finally realized he left his laptop down, and _damn_. His bulge would have been painfully obvious even to a blind person.

Spencer pulled his fingers up to his temples and crooked his eyebrows.

“And I know that if I do this,” said Spencer, slowly lowering himself down onto his knees. “You’re not gonna stop me.”

A feeling of panic set into Lassiter’s stomach. “What are you doing?”

“You know what I’m doing,” purred Spencer, placing his hands on his belt buckles. He lightly mouthed along the outline of Lassiter’s cock through his pants, and Lassiter couldn’t help but let out a stifled moan.

“Spencer, if this is a joke—”

Spencer gazed up with a chuckle. “Why would make a joke where your cock is in my mouth? That wouldn’t be a very fun joke to play on someone, because _I_ would be the joke.”

“I— fair enough. But... we’re still in a police station.”

“And? Weren’t you just watching porn? In a police station?”

Lassiter’s face reddened, and Spencer knew he wouldn’t have a response to this question. He spared him the burden of stammering up an answer by swiftly undoing his belt and peeling his pants down. He held his hand on Lassiter’s cock through his plain blue boxers and looked up.

“Wow, I thought you would be wearing boxers with prints of guns or something.”

“I’m not a _child_ ,” blushed Lassiter.

Spencer let out a _hmm_ , as if that was debatable, and reached into Lassiter’s boxers, pulling his hard cock free.

“So, tell me you don’t want this, Lassie,” said Spencer, holding his cock with his right hand. “Tell me you haven’t been imagining this.”

Lassiter looked down with his eyes wide open, still unable to believe that it was his cock next to Spencer’s face.

Spencer chuckled at Lassiter’s deer in the headlights look. “Nod if you want this, Lassie.”

Lassiter gave a quick nod. Despite every reason not to, Spencer was right. _He wanted it._

Spencer pumped Lassiter’s cock with his right hand a few times and gave it a slow lick from the base to the tip. Hearing Lassiter let out a contented sigh, he kissed the tip of his cock and took it into his mouth. Spencer’s mouth was warm and perfect, and his tongue was gently pressing on the underside of his cock, trailing the vein as he moved his mouth up and down.

“Shit, Spencer.” Lassiter let out a whine.

Hearing Lassiter coming undone, Spencer hummed a laughter with the cock in his mouth. He pulled himself back and pumped the slick cock with his hand, while his mouth traveled down to plant kisses onto Lassiter’s balls, lapping on them before he took each of them into his mouth.

And _Christ_ , Lassiter was on the verge of buckling down. He didn’t get the chance to steady himself against anything, and Spencer’s mouth felt so damn good that his knees were feeling weak. Seeing Spencer sucking his cock, not somebody else’s but his, it made no damn sense but it was obscene.

He slid his hands through Spencer’s perfect hair and grasped onto it, holding onto it to steady himself. Spencer moaned as Lassiter tugged on his hair, and the low vibrations from Spencer’s throat were going straight to his cock. _Jesus_.

Spencer twisted his wrist as he moved his hand up and down the length of Lassiter’s cock. He added his mouth to the tip and started swirling his tongue as well, and fuck, it felt incredible when he started sucking on him again.

“Spencer—“ Lassiter moaned. “ _Fuck_ , it’s been a while, so slow down—“

Spencer looked up with a mischievous smile. Lassiter’s face was flush with beads of sweat collecting on his neck and forehead, a pretty sight he didn’t get to see normally. This was different from, say, when Lassiter was hot and sweaty from chasing a perp across the park. _This_ , this was his doing.

“Why?”

“You damn well know why,” Lassiter panted.

Spencer let out another hum, feigning his ignorance, and returned to swirling his tongue, moving his head up and down as he twisted his hand along. Lassiter’s hands wandered about, gripping tightly onto anywhere he could lay his hands on, because _fuck_ , Spencer wasn’t slowing down. He was spilling a mix of incoherent babbles and moans, telling Spencer to continue doing what he was doing.

His nails dug into Spencer’s shoulders and neck, but Spencer didn’t have a care in the world. It was in fact amazing to think that he was causing Lassiter to lose the upright cop act and tell him how he was feeling, how it felt amazing, how he wanted more of Spencer.

He was blowing the head detective in the middle of an evidence locker in a police station. It was a little dangerous but it also made it _exhilarating_.

Spencer felt his own bulge straining against his jeans, but he didn’t want to take this moment away from Lassiter. This was about him getting Lassiter to feel good, and by the looks of it he was doing pretty well for himself.

Lassiter buckled his hips into Spencer’s mouth, the rhythm erratic and forceful, as he clenched his hands into Spencer’s shirt. He was close.

“Oh god, fuck, Spencer—”

Lassiter groaned and pushed his hips towards Spencer, while his hands strained and pulled Spencer’s head towards his hips. And he was coming, spurting a warm load into Spencer’s mouth. Spencer didn’t stop moving his mouth against his sensitive cock to take every last bit of his come, and Lassiter shuddered at the overwhelming sensation.

Lassiter was feeling as if he was a big, warm pudding. His body relaxed as he climaxed, letting go of all the tension he was holding in. As he collected his breath, he loosened his grip on Spencer, whose lips looked puffy, cheeks flush with red, and overall damn cute kneeling in front of him.

He felt Spencer tuck his cock back into his boxers and zip his pants back up as he was coming to. When he looked down Spencer gave a pat on Lassiter’s pants and flashed a satisfied smile for a job well done.

“Uh, thank you,” stammered Lassiter, awkwardly tucking his shirt back into his pants and buckling up his belt.

He took Spencer’s forearm and helped him up, only to notice that he was sporting a hard on that was straining against his jeans. His eyes met with Spencer’s and Lassiter paused as he held his arm.

“Uh, do you need me to...” said Lassiter, letting his hand go free as he gestured about Spencer’s crotch. “I mean, if you want me to—”

“ _Oh_ , uh, Lassie,” Spencer smiled politely and took a step back away from Lassiter. “Don’t you have a report to deliver to the chief?”

“I— I do, but—”

“You should go out first, and I’ll go out after,” Spencer winked. “You probably don’t want to be seen coming out of the closet with me sporting a massive boner.”

He stepped around Lassiter and opened the door, keeping his distance and passing him the laptop as he gestured him to leave. Lassiter’s mouth moved as if he wanted to say something back, but he soon returned to standing wide-eyed and frozen in his steps.

“Come on, Lassie, it’s been a while since you left your desk.” said Spencer, motioning towards the door.

Lassiter reluctantly took his laptop, his eyes darting between Spencer’s eyes and his bulge. “I guess, uh–” said Lassiter, giving Spencer a curt nod. “Right.”

And Lassiter was gone. His hair still sweaty, shirt crumpled, and his tie off-center, but he was gone.

Spencer let out a shaky breath as Lassiter closed the door behind him. This was it. This was what he wanted. And he got it.

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to drop by @ carltonlassie.tumblr.com ☺


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last time they finally got it on, so what's next?

In the empty evidence locker, Spencer let himself fall against the wall and sank to the floor.

His plan was to seduce Lassiter. He just wanted a moment with Lassiter somewhere in private to let him know that he was interested. When he followed Lassiter from his desk to the evidence locker, he didn’t quite expect to see him standing in front of him with an obvious boner. He had a whole plan in mind, but _come on_ , it was just too good to let it pass. He _had_ to act on it before the chance was gone.

But he wondered if that was too forward for a first time. That whole encounter afterwards was... too awkward, and he was beginning to think that he had pushed Lassiter too far. Hell, what was appropriate for the first time anyways? He figured the back and forth they have been engaging on was probably flirting, so this had to be the next possible escalation. Or was it?

Spencer hated being unsure. It was times like these he wished he was really a psychic. No matter how many times he went over the memory, the powers of observation didn’t offer much help in figuring out what the hell this was. Yes, sure, any porn on the internet was free game for anyone to watch, but did Lassiter watch it because into him, or did he not know? Even if he didn’t know in the beginning, did he grow fonder of him, or was it just a bodily response?

He wasn’t sure why he turned down Lassiter’s offer either. Lassiter was standing right in front of him, acknowledging his boner and asking if he needed – or rather – wanted it. But Lassiter had to have offered only out of courtesy, it had to be it. Who responds to a blowjob with a ‘thank you,’ and want to suck the other person’s cock? It must have been a gesture, nothing more. Bros sometimes lend a helping hand (and a mouth) to other bros in need, and the other bro might not reciprocate, but that’s just how it is sometimes, right?

Spencer winced as he shook his head. Some part of him was telling him that was not it. The more he thought about it, the more confusing it was. Nothing made sense and he needed some fresh air.

He stood up, braced himself against the wall as he took in a big breath before he made his exit.

As he was leaving the station, he saw Lassiter through the glass in Chief Vick’s office. He locked his eyes with Lassiter as he walked by, but Lassiter’s eyes darted away, pretending that he didn’t see him.

It left a sour feeling in Spencer’s stomach.

—————

A few busy days have passed by for Lassiter. He was out running in the field, getting his paperwork done, and lending out a fresh pair of eyes to other detectives who needed help on their case. He was occupied, or should he say, occupied himself with any sort of task he could get his hands on.

But Lassiter was stumped.

They played their stupid game and he got his blowjob. That should have been it.

But the way Spencer was acting as if nothing had happened, while it had no business bothering him, it bothered him _a lot_. It bothered him so fucking much that Spencer could just switch his gears and move on like that.

Was this actually a big joke, the one where he lulled his victims into a false sense of security to give them a blowjob, so he can then tell everyone else about it behind his back?

Clearly Spencer wasn’t joking about wanting to suck his dick, because he still remembered the bulge in Spencer’s pants when he left him in the evidence locker. He was painfully reminded of it every time he passed by the door to the locker.

But hearing Spencer and Guster whispering and muttering behind him, the quiet cackles around him, and the high fives and the handshakes... it almost felt like they were taunting him. Laughing behind his back. Or was he reading into things too much?

There was no way to tell, and no, he wasn’t ready to confront Spencer about it. Clearly Spencer didn’t want to broach the subject, and he wasn’t going to run up to Spencer begging him for an explanation, a look towards his direction, or anything that could tell him this wasn’t just a one off thing.

Actually, did it matter that it was a one off thing? What did he expect, to be _lovers_ with Spencer after this affair? The guy who could barely keep a steady girlfriend down, who flirted with anything that breathed, the guy who recklessly flung words like ‘you’re so sexy’ to anyone who jived with him for a moment?

Lassiter was spiraling in his thoughts. He didn’t think he should be angry, because there was no contract written between them, no spoken words of agreement about how things should proceed afterwards. He had no reason to think this much into what happened between them.

But he was.

All he needed to think for now was getting through the day of work, and maybe going for a drink to clear his mind afterwards.

—————

Days went by for Spencer as well, and he was now beginning to think that this was a fluke. Hey, at least he got to suck Lassiter’s dick, which was very cool. Very hot. Very tasty. Ugh. God, he went through the memory so many times and remembered how Lassiter looked so flush and _sexy_ , it was incredible. He wondered if he was being pathetic for not getting over this.

But hey, if Lassiter wanted things to go back to normal, Spencer wasn’t going to push it any further.

When they were called into a case together, Lassiter pretended to be no different than usual, competitive and no-nonsense with Spencer (at least he got past the ‘I can’t even look at you’ phase), but there was a complex expression he couldn’t quite make out behind his face. It wasn’t anger, it wasn’t embarrassment, and it wasn’t indifference either.

He noticed Lassiter’s gazes lingered on longer, but his eyes darted back whenever Spencer tried to meet his eyes. Every time he strolled by the station, Lassiter was focused on something, whether it be paperwork, interrogation, or evidence cataloguing. How much paperwork did police work really involve, he wasn’t sure, but Lassiter sure sat in front of his desk a lot and avoided any chance of going to places with him.

But what Lassiter didn’t know was that he liked strolling around the station. He wasn’t sure when he developed the habit, but the amount of information he picked up while promenading the station was staggering. He found it to be a good practice for the Psych business, keeping up to date with the intel. Clearly it was not a habit he picked up trying to create opportunities of running into Lassiter. He just happened to have found Lassiter today by the watercooler, looking out into the hallway.

Spencer slowly shuffled towards Lassiter with his hands in his pockets. Lassiter noticed Spencer and crooked his entire upper body towards the cooler. _Ouch_.

Spencer took a big breath in and stopped in front of Lassiter, keeping his distance so they weren’t too close to each other.

“Hey Lass, what’s up?”

“Oh, uh– _hi_ , Spencer,” said Lassiter, stiffly standing and pretending that he didn’t see Spencer the first time. “Yeah. I’m good, thank you.”

Spencer crooked his eyebrows at the strange politeness he was getting from Lassiter.

“Well, uh, anything fun happening?”

“Not that I can think of, Spencer,” nodded Lassiter, looking past Spencer’s face. “But speaking of work, I think I am needed in interrogation room two.”

And like that, Lassiter was away again.

Juliet must have noticed the shift in the way they interacted with each other, because she was asking if anything happened between him and Lassiter. Yeah, no, he wasn’t telling her what happened between them. He wasn’t even sure what happened between them either.

Gus seemed to be relaxed seeing how Lassiter wasn’t up on Spencer’s throat. He didn’t seem to want any explanation of any sort either. Good. Give it a few days, they will all forget about this and move on past the awkwardness. They were going to be the kickass crime solving crew again.

_Man_ , what was this? What was he doing? Offering blowjobs out of courtesy? That he didn’t want Lassiter? That they’re going to get over _this_ , whatever the fuck this was?

He was lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to make Lassiter feel good again, feel him inside his mouth, his hands over his body, and maybe even his lips on his mouth. It was frustrating to pretend that there was nothing between them. Whatever this stupid shit was, whatever Lassiter was going through, he needed to get to the bottom of it. He was an adult, and he needed to man up and talk about this with Lassiter. He needed to let Lassiter know that he wanted more.

He _had_ to go see Lassiter.

—————

Lassiter finally poured himself a glass of scotch after getting back from work. He loosened his tie and threw it over the chair as he brought the glass to his mouth. His throat burned as he quickly downed the entire glass, but as he felt his body relax and flush, everything was good, even if it was for just this quick moment.

He heard a knock on his door just as he was about to pour himself another glass. With a sigh, he placed the bottle onto the table and walked to the door.

Behind the door he found Spencer, who seemed surprised to see the door open.

_Spencer_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's Shawn doing in front of his door?

Spencer was standing in front of his door with his stupid smile. It was stupid, but seeing him made Lassiter’s heart skip a beat. He was almost happy to see him there.

“—pencer— Spencer,” His voice was slipping out of his control. “What are you doing here?”

Spencer continued to stare at Lassiter without a word with his hands shoved in his pocket, and the heavy air around them was suffocating him. Seeing Spencer fidgeting and unsure, an uneasy feeling stirred up inside his stomach.

He had to remind himself that Spencer probably didn’t want to do anything with him and regretted his decision, judging by the way he shooed him out of the locker. On top of that, there were those stares and winces, so suffice to say, this entire mess was his fault, a giant mistake he made by crossing the line with the porn.

So maybe this was courage, maybe this was stupidity. He borrowed strength from the glass of whisky against his better judgment. Whatever Spencer came to say, he had to say something first. Lassiter cleared his throat, hoping to squash the uneasiness.

“Look, Spencer, I’m sorry I watched the porn. It was unprofessional of me, and you probably don’t want anything to do with me now. If you felt coerced to perform the oral sex act on me because of my authority as a law enforcement officer, I take full responsibility and if you are thinking of pressing charges–”

Spencer furrowed his brows as Lassiter continued on, and at a certain point he couldn’t let him continue down this ridiculous path anymore.

“Lassie!” Spencer shook his head as he interrupted. “Whoa, _whoa_. Slow down. Oral sex act? Your _authority_ as a law enforcement officer? What are you?”

Lassiter frowned at the interruption, but he had to continue explaining himself. “Okay, fine, _fellatio_ , or whatever. But the point is–”

“The point is, Lassie,” Spencer interjected, shaking away the confusing words he heard. “I’m here. I’m here so we can… maybe do it again?”

Lassiter’s eyes fluttered close as he shook his head. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

“Do it again, as in, I want to make you feel good again.”

Lassiter’s pale blue eyes were growing wider as Spencer continued assuredly. He wanted to do it... _again_?

“And I want _you_ to make me feel good too, Lassie.”

Lassiter, with his mouth hanging open and eyes full of confusion, stared at Spencer. If he was hearing that right, Spencer wasn’t mad about what happened, and he even _wanted him_ to make him feel good too.

“So…” Lassiter started hesitantly. “You’re _not_ gonna press charges?”

“No! Why are we pressing charges, Lassie?” Spencer whined out of exasperation.

“But the way you made me leave, at the station...” Lassiter trailed.

 _Oh_ , mouthed Spencer. Sweet Lassie Lassiepants, _that_ was the reason for his strange behavior? Spencer smiled, realizing how much of a softie Lassiter actually was. Lassiter’s face was full of worry, and it was almost... _cute_ that he was so preoccupied by this fact this entire time.

“Exactly, Lassie. We were at _the station_. I wasn’t pushing you away because of some other reason.”

“Oh. So you– so it wasn’t– so I didn’t—” Lassiter stammered.

Spencer grinned at Lassiter as he continued on like a broken record. Even his inability straighten out his words was beginning to look cute. Now _this_ was the Lassie he knew how to handle.

“Okay, cool. Glad we got that out of the way,” said Spencer, patting Lassiter’s chest. “Maybe we can continue this conversation inside?”

“Yeah, _yeah_ , okay.” Lassiter stepped aside, letting Spencer brush in. He was still having a hard time believing what Spencer had said, so he let his eyes trail Spencer all the way inside, hoping to see any signs of distress, alien implants, mind controlling devices, _something_.

But Spencer looked as sure as ever, as real as ever, and as ready as ever, giving the door a gentle kick to close it behind him. And that was all he needed. As soon as Spencer was in, Lassiter pressed onto Spencer against the door, pinning him and _kissing him_.

Spencer let a moan escape his mouth. He didn’t expect the sudden rush of warmth, Lassiter’s mouth planting firm kisses on his mouth, and he felt a jolt stirring up in his lower belly. As he responded to his kisses, Lassiter closed in even further and deepened the kiss, biting and pulling on his lips, and oh god, Spencer felt Lassiter grind against him, his hard cock brushing against his.

They both groaned at the sensation, repeating it over and over again because it felt so good to finally be able to feel each other, know that they both wanted this _so_ much. Lassiter slipped his hand under Spencer’s shirt, letting his hand travel up his back and dragging it down to grip onto his waist as he continued to grind himself against Spencer, letting out soft and needy whimpers.

Spencer found his hands unbuttoning Lassiter’s dress shirt, a task already started by Lassiter before he got here. He fumbled with the buttons as he continued kissing Lassiter’s mouth and feeling his hard length brushing against his, and the sensation alone was nearly making him cum, _Jesus_ , he had to break away from the kiss.

And wow, seeing Lassiter’s bare chest in front of him, the glimpse of his dark hair swirling his nipples and leading down to his navel, it was _fucking gorgeous_. Spencer laid his hand out onto Lassiter’s chest, marveling at the soft hair and the heat of the skin. He brushed it with his fingers as he moved down, flicking his nipples and moving onto his stomach. Lassiter’s breath was trembling by the time his hand settled onto his belt buckles.

And while gazing into Lassiter’s eyes, searching for his consent, he dropped himself down onto his knees again. Lassiter answered by pressing his arms out against the door, this time knowing to brace himself. Spencer’s mouth was dangerously hot and slick, and if he wanted to last he had to be prepared.

Spencer wasn’t wasting any time either. He deftly undid Lassiter’s familiar belt buckle and unzipped his pants, and laced his fingers behind his back. He looked up with a grin, knowing what kind of effect he was having on Lassiter, and pulled at the front of his boxers down with his mouth. He nudged Lassiter’s hard cock with his nose, mouthing lightly along the length before tanking the tip into his mouth.

Spencer was absolutely right. Lassiter couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. Wherever he picked up all these little tricks, Lassiter wanted to thank them generously. It was putting any of the previous blowjobs he has had to shame, and it was just the beginning.

Spencer grabbed onto Lassiter’s thighs and hiked himself up higher to take the entire length into his mouth without gagging himself, and _fuck_ , Spencer mouth was so tight and warm, and Lassiter was gasping as he continued to see his entire cock disappear into Spencer’s mouth.

Spencer was a fast learner, and he knew what made Lassiter tick. He edged Lassiter closer, hollowing his cheeks and swirling his tongue, but loosened the slack when he felt Lassiter’s stomach tighten. He wasn’t going to give him everything just yet.

Lassiter was reduced to trembling whimpers under Spencer’s administration, beads of sweat collecting on his forehead, and Spencer was satisfied. With a loud pop, he pulled himself back from Lassiter’s cock. Lassiter let out a whine and opened his eyes to look down onto Spencer.

“ _Aah_ , Spencer, why did you stop?”

With a slow smile that showed a hint of teeth, Spencer pulled himself up by Lassiter’s shirttails. He brought his own shirt over his head and pushed off Lassiter’s shirt that was hanging on his shoulders, letting Lassiter shrug off the rest off his arms.

Lassiter promptly forgot about the question he asked as he gazed at Spencer’s body, cursing at his well defined chest peppered with brown hair and plump nipples. His shoulders were broad and sturdy, and _wow_ , he thought Spencer in the video was hot, but Spencer in the flesh in front of him was overwhelming. Fuck, it was _amazing_.

Lassiter was so easy to read for Spencer, despite what Lassiter might have thought of himself. Spencer felt him savoring every inch of him, even as he looked down to unbuckle his pants and stepped out of the pool that gathered around his ankles.

As he stroked himself over his briefs, he stared square into Lassiter’s eyes and gave him a gentle nudge, pushing him further into the apartment. Even without much clothes, Spencer was still exuding confidence and that _damn smirk_.

“Because, Lassie,” said Spencer, marching towards him. “I have better things planned for that cock of yours other than my mouth.”

Lassiter couldn’t hold himself back. He wanted Spencer, and he wanted to taste every inch of him. He wanted to kiss him, taste him, and god, fuck him. He grabbed Spencer’s arms and pulled him close, and their lips came crashing together again.

They stumbled all the way into the kitchen as they kissed, their steps tangling and clumsy. Lassiter pushed Spencer against the counter as he continued to kiss him, and the cold surface against his back drew a gasp out of Spencer. He broke away from the kiss, but it wasn’t enough to stop the whole endeavor. Taking the moment given to him, Lassiter let his mouth travel down Spencer’s jawline, and onto his neck where his pulse was throbbing.

Spencer let out a groan as Lassiter sucked on his neck. “Oh, Lassie, that’s so good, continue doing that—”

His cry was cut short by Lassiter’s hands sliding into his briefs seeking for his cock. He was slow and almost unsure, but eventually Lassiter’s warm and calloused hand surrounded the body of his cock, all the while he was leaving red marks on Spencer’s neck.

He didn’t care if it left a mark. In fact, he wanted there to be a mark. He wanted to be Lassiter’s, marked, taken, and _oh wait_ , Spencer suddenly stopped Lassiter by his wrist.

“ _Gah_ – hold on, Lassie,” he whispered as he pulled his briefs down, letting his hard cock spring up. Without missing a beat, he reached back, his brow furrowing as he focused on slowly pulling something out from his ass. With a grunt, he slammed the neon hot pink plug onto the counter and stared back at Lassiter with a grin.

“Holy _shit_ , Spencer.”

Lassiter marveled. Spencer came here with a purpose, to get fucked, and fucked by him. This was _not_ a drill.

“I’m a psychic, remember? I’m always ready for situations like these.”

Lassiter couldn’t help but scoff in response. Whether he was really a psychic or not, it didn’t matter at this moment. All that mattered was that Spencer was ready, and he was ready too.

“Check my pants pocket,” said Spencer, as he stepped out of his briefs and turned around to brace himself against the counter. The bedroom was too far, and the counter was perfectly fine for this time. Yes, _this time_ , because he knew there was going to be more in the future.

Lassiter was taking his time to savor the view. There was that ass, and it was the real deal. It looked as delicious as the one from the video– okay _fine_ , it was so much better because it was in front of him, and he was being invited to it.

Spencer whipped his head back to see the reason for the delay and nudged his chin towards his pants. “The pants, Lassie?”

Lassiter nodded and started to rummage through Spencer’s pants. Buried under a few crumpled receipts, he fished out a small tube of lube and a pack of condoms, which rolled down like a long scroll.

“Twelve of them?” Lassiter remarked, holding them up with his fingers as if they were a dirty pair of underwear.

Spencer looked back, sighed and walked towards Lassiter. He quickly ripped one off the bottom of the roll, and slammed it against Lassiter’s chest.

“I was in a hurry. _Besides_ , it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Lassiter ripped open the packet and slowly rolled the condom over his cock. “I’m not gonna be able to have sex twelve times, Spencer. I’m not a teenager.”

“Fine! We don’t have to have sex twelve times right now, but I need you to focus on the right thing here!” said Spencer, returning to the counter to brace himself. _Enough with the foreplay!_ He was getting impatient, and he needed Lassiter’s cock _now_.

“Not so fast, Spencer,” Lassiter whispered as he leaned closer behind Spencer’s neck. “I’m gonna take my time to enjoy fucking you.”

Lassiter squeezed the lube onto his fingers, then brushed his finger against Spencer’s hole. Spencer let out a gasp ( _finally_!) and pushed himself back onto Lassiter’s fingers.

But Lassiter wasn’t going to let him slide this easily. He laid his spare hand across Spencer’s back and stopped him from inching back. “Ah— not so fast, Spencer.”

“Lassieeeee,” whined Spencer. “I’m already stretched, can’t you just fuck me already?”

“No. I’m torturing you for that shirt you ruined, and the many times you were a little brat, prancing around my crime scene with your nonsensical psychic charade,” Lassiter said with a grin.

“Wow, Lassie. _Wow_. That is _so_ evil that I don’t even know how to respond.”

Lassiter teased Spencer’s hole with another digit. “And this is for making me think that you wanted to sue me.”

“Please, _fuck_ , Lassie. I don’t understand where you got that idea about suing– _oooh_ –”

Spencer’s knees buckled when Lassiter found the sensitive spot and rubbed his fingers against it. _What the fuck,_ why did it feel so good and how did he find it so easily?

“Yeah, Spencer. That’s it.”

Spencer’s arms were shaking as he held onto the counter and his cock was bobbing up and down as Lassiter continued to press his fingers against his gland. He could feel Lassiter’s evil grin against his neck as he continued to crook his fingers. Gus was right, this man was pretty fucked up, but this was exactly what he wanted. He was _really_ into Lassiter’s slow and evil teasing, because it felt amazing, and it felt right, like Lassie.

Lassiter removed his hand from Spencer’s back and stroked his cock to coat it with more lube. With that, Spencer started to inch backwards, fucking himself on Lassiter’s fingers.

“Lassieee, please,” Spencer panted as he moved his hips deeper and deeper into Lassiter’s hands.

“Ah, ah, not yet, Spencer.” said Lassiter, returning his hand on Spencer’s waist to stop him and drawing his fingers out.

Spencer whined at the loss, but he felt something else, something bigger pressing against his hole. Lassiter was teasing him with the tip of his cock, slowly pushing in and out. “And this is for messing with my laundry schedule.”

“ _What_?”

With that he pushed into Spencer fully, letting out a groan. Spencer also let out a moan as he shuddered, that delicious moan Lassiter’s been imagining for a long time.

Sex with Lassiter made no sense. He was talking fucking weird shit that made no sense into his ears, but god, it was so good feeling Lassiter fill him up. It felt perfect, like this was what he was missing all along.

Lassiter was now grabbing his waist with both of his hands, pulling Spencer close as he thrusted into him with deep and deliberate strokes, his breath controlled but barely so.

“Aah, Spencer, you’re so good, this is so— good,” Lassiter babbled between the pants.

Every time Lassiter let it slip and showed him that he liked him, Spencer felt giddy. But hearing Lassiter telling him he was _good_? God, Spencer was feeling ecstatic. Spencer wanted Lassiter to know that he also felt good, that he wanted him not just this once, but more, and more, and more. And that he had no intention of suing him, so just _please_ , more.

Actually, he might have to sue him if he kept going on with this torturous pace.

“ _Fuck_ , Lassie, just fuck me, I’m all yours. And don’t worry about hurting me, go wild, _please_. I’m like, _aah_ — I’m stronger than you.”

Spencer’s upper back muscles rippled as they moved together, and the muscles on the small of his back were ridged up. Lassiter couldn’t believe he never noticed how strong Spencer was. If it came to it, Spencer would easily get the upper hand in a fistfight. But this wasn’t a fistfight, and he was the one in control. He knew just what he needed to do to make Spencer into a trembling mess.

“Oh yeah?”

Lassiter shifted the way he was holding onto Spencer, thumbs pressing onto the dimple above his ass, angling himself so that he could hit that sensitive spot again with his cock. He immediately felt Spencer clenching around him. _Ha_. Got him. Spencer was shuddering as the wet slaps rang throughout the kitchen, mixed with their moans and groans.

“Well how about that, Spencer?” Lassiter continued as he mouthed at his shoulders and his back, still thrusting down into Spencer.

It was official. Lassiter was the evilest person he’s ever had sex with, because dear god, he was right. He didn’t know there was this feisty sex monster side of Lassiter, and it was working. It made him feel weak in his knees and tremble, and he couldn’t do anything but want more of it. It was just what he needed to _Oh_ —

Spencer felt a warmth traveling up his shaft, so slow but pleasurable, almost like an electric sensation going up. Lassiter must have felt Spencer too, because he was wrapping his hand around his cock, pumping it with short and quick strokes.

“Come for me, Spencer,” Lassiter panted. “Come for me.”

And Spencer was coming _hard_ , collapsing onto the counter as he let out a breathy grunt.

Lassiter soon followed, and Spencer felt the cock jerking and spurting warmth inside of him. Lassiter slowed down his movement and shuddered, slumping on top of him with a groan.

They were both so sweaty and gross, but feeling Lassiter draped over him, his heart thumping, and his breath tickling his ears, he almost didn’t want to move away. He could feel Lassiter’s mouth turning up to a smile, and felt the vibrations against his back as Lassiter chuckled and nuzzled on his neck. “You can’t make me leave this time, because this is my house,” said Lassiter, pulling himself out.

Spencer let out a cry as Lassiter pulled away, but soon chuckled between his pants as he looked back. “Don’t worry, Lassie, I wasn’t planning on making you leave, or leaving for that matter.”

“Hmm. That’s good,” said Lassiter, pulling Spencer’s chin in for a kiss. “Do you wanna shower together?” he murmured.

It came out of nowhere, but it felt right to say. Lassiter _wanted_ Spencer to stay.

“Yeah,” Spencer smiled into the kiss. “Ooh, do you wanna get Chinese afterwards? I’m starved.”

Lassiter smiled as he went in for another kiss. He could get used to this.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They always choose the worst place to have sex, I know.


	9. Epilogue

There were definite merits to having sex as opposed to simple masturbation. For starters, it was a spectacular morning. He noticed the sun shining through the open curtains, and the light breeze coming through the cracked window was making him want to snuggle into his blanket more.

But when Lassiter turned around, the bed next to him was cold and empty. He remembered falling asleep with Spencer in his arms, talking about how they were going to stay in bed forever (he had to object to eating Chinese forever). He never pegged Spencer to be an early riser, so it was odd that he wasn’t there for the morning cuddles (and perhaps sex) they were discussing the day before.

With a sigh, he propped himself up. He supposed Spencer left early in the morning. Spencer had his own life to get to, and he also had his own to tend to. Maybe he will give him a call on his way to work to see what’s up. He couldn’t help but be a little bit disappointed that he wasn’t there, though.

He reached around to his bedside table, only to realize that his phone was missing too. He remembered calling in for the food, so he figured it must be in the living room. He had to admit, the food was just what he needed afterwards and it was a phenomenal suggestion from Spencer.

He dragged himself out of the bedroom, mentally going over the list of things he had to do today. Call Spencer, finish up the report that he half-assed yesterday, follow up with the witness from the break in case… _Coffee_?

The hallway smelled of coffee.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” Spencer beamed, passing him a mug. “I think I finally got that machine thing figured out.”

Spencer had been waiting for Lassiter to get up. He wanted to be there for him, make him coffee and breakfast if possible. But Lassiter’s kitchen was foreign and relatively empty, compared to his dad’s. The coffee machine was much more complicated than what they had in the psych office too, but he eventually figured out that the filter went in first before the grounds.

He must have startled Lassiter though, because he jumped when he passed him the mug.

“Christ!”

But Lassiter looked _damn_ cute, with his unruly hair and sleepy eyes. He was only wearing his boxers and a t-shirt, and he looked so soft and peaceful, unlike the Lassiter he usually saw at the station. Upright. Rod up his ass. Grumpy. But still cute.

Spencer couldn’t help but grin when he heard Lassiter’s voice, still full of sleep.

“Thanks, Spencer.” He took a sip out of the mug as he scratched his bedhead. “I thought you were gone.”

Behind the matter of fact façade he was putting on, Spencer could see a hint of his guarded anxiety. He could tell that Lassiter was still feeling nervous that yesterday’s events might have been just another fling.

He briefly wondered if Lassiter knew how much time and effort it took for him to prep himself to take his cock up his ass. He wasn’t necessarily lazy; he would rather not go through complicated things if he didn’t have to. But he did for Lassiter. No matter how many times it took, Spencer was ready to tell Lassiter that he was not going to leave his side.

He gave Lassiter a hug from the side as he rubbed his arms up and down.

“No Lassie,” Spencer leaned in for a kiss on his cheek. “I said I won’t leave, and now you’re going to have to try your hardest to get rid of me.”

Lassiter held his cup with both of his hands so it wouldn’t spill as he was getting squeezed. He never knew what to do when he was getting squished and hugged out of nowhere, but surprisingly, Spencer’s hug was relaxing. _Reassuring_ to know that Spencer was going to be by him.

Now that he thought of it, he didn’t know why he was so comfortable with Spencer being in his place. A few days ago they were busy ignoring each other, but eerily, Spencer’s presence wasn’t foreign to him. Some might say he enjoyed his company. He _liked_ having someone to wake up to, and someone who wanted to be by him.

It blossomed a warm feeling inside him.

“Should I expect this royal treatment every morning?” Lassiter was grinning like an idiot too.

“Mm, I was going to make some bacon too, but I couldn’t find your toaster.”

Lassiter paused in the middle of his sip. He looked at Spencer to see if he was joking, but he remembered this was Shawn Spencer. He wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that.

“You should just stick to the coffee.” He requested as he glanced at Spencer. He was in a different shirt than yesterday.

“Is that my shirt?”

Spencer nodded. “Good eye. Bet you didn’t know I’m also wearing one of your boxers.” He said, lightly pulling his jeans to show the waistband of his boxers.

Lassiter stared at Spencer, not knowing how to feel about his clothes being appropriated for Spencer’s use. It was a bit weird, because he was always too tall and lanky to share his clothes with others. But the shirt that was comfortable on him was snug across Spencer’s shoulders and chest, and somehow it was working for him. It was a _very_ flattering fit on him.

“You should keep it.” said Lassiter, hiding his crooked smile by turning to sit on the couch. “I’m not trying to be cute or whatever, just keep it.”

Spencer rolled behind him and hovered over his shoulders. Leaning over the back of the couch, he placed his hands over Lassiter’s shoulders, thumbs pressing on the nape of his neck.

“What, fingering my ass is fine, but my ass touching your boxers is not?”

“It’s– it’s different.” said Lassiter, melting into Spencer’s hands.

“Well then,” said Spencer, walking around and plopping himself down next to Lassiter. “I hope you know that my ass will be touching a lot of different parts of you from now on.”

Spencer slid his hand on Lassiter’s thigh and leaned in to whisper.

“And there’s _so_ much more I learned from the porn that didn’t make it to the final cut.”

Lassiter was blushing. Spencer’s fingers were caressing the soft skin of his inner thigh and creeping up towards his crotch.

“ _Mmmh_ –”

“And I hope you _also_ know that I won’t be able to stop touching you in public.”

Spencer kissed Lassiter’s cheek close to his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. As Lassiter was steading his breath, Spencer’s hands slipped between the fabric of his boxers and found his cock.

“ _Aah_ – As long as it doesn’t interfere with my work–” Lassiter paused and looked around. “Hold on. What time is it?”

“Oh yeah, you have a case downtown.” Spencer said nonchalantly, all the while holding Lassiter’s cock in his hand. “They called when you were sleeping.”

“ _What_? Why didn’t you wake me?”

Spencer looked at the way Lassiter’s posture immediately straightened up. He sort of resembled a meerkat surveying his surroundings out for any danger, but he wasn’t going to tell him that. He might try out that nickname later though, _meerkat_.

Lassiter glanced back and forth between Spencer’s hand and the clock. Eventually, he let out a whine and beelined back to his bedroom. He emerged fully clothed, minus the tie, and marched straight into the bathroom. Couldn’t he have been that fast when he was fucking him, _jeez_. He was going to have to have a talk about that later.

“Well, you looked so peaceful, and besides, I don’t think it’s going to be that big of a case.” said Spencer, leisurely kicking back onto the couch.

The sound of the faucet running spilled out of the bathroom, along with the sound of one furious teeth brushing. Moments later, the water stopped and Lassiter popped his head out of the bathroom, white foam still around his mouth. This was a whole lot more than what he bargained for, but he liked seeing this domestic side of Lassiter.

Lassiter’s brows were furrowed. “And you answered my phone?”

Of course, Spencer knew what he was implying. He wasn’t going to out Lassiter to anyone at the station. He was going to be as discreet as he could with the rest of them. He might grope him here and there, but to everyone at the station, unless they were living under a rock, it was a common sight to find Spencer acting inappropriately around Lassiter. It wasn’t going to be an issue at all.

“Don’t worry, I just told them I broke into your apartment. Can I come along?”

It was true that Spencer broke into his apartment more than the amount of times he would have liked to admit. He wasn’t so sure if he had driven Spencer to a scene before, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing he’s ever done. He deemed it feasible, _especially_ if he caught him supposedly snooping around his apartment early in the morning. Lassiter acquiesced.

“Fine, but you better behave.” Lassiter glanced at Spencer as he finished up his tie. “Or _else_.”

Spencer wiggled his eyebrows with a sly smile. “Else what? Lassie, that makes me wanna misbehave.”

“What?” Lassiter frowned in confusion. And he smiled back as soon as he realized. “ _Oh_.”

Spencer grinned back. He was going to have so much fun playing around with the range of Lassiter’s facial expressions. But crime never stopped in Santa Barbara, and his sexy meerkat was going to go solve them. _Of course,_ with a little bit of help from his ultra sexy psychic sidekick.

“Alright, I’m taking shotgun!” Spencer slapped Lassiter’s ass and ran down to the door.

 _Shotgun_? “But you’re the only other person here, Spencer!” Lassiter yelled down the hallway.

Spencer held onto the door as he paused to gaze at Lassiter. “Aw, Lassie! That’s sweet. You’re my only other person too.”

And he was out the door.

Lassiter grinned as he picked up his keys and followed Spencer outside. Spending time with Spencer was not always going to make sense, but he was glad to call him _his_ idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice reviews. I'm really glad you all enjoyed my nonsense haha
> 
> I was really debating whether I should continue with this story more, but I think it's sweeter to leave it where it is. I have several other WIPs in the works, so I'll be back!


End file.
